you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
