There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
