apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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