And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
