I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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