So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
