he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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