She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
