He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
