I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
