Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
