i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
