I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
