i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
