you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize