If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize