There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found the puke drawer
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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