he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
