why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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