Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
