dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I intend to get homeless drunk
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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