what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize