Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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