People in love make me want to vomit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
