We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
