Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
