No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
