he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Come on in and take your pants off
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