Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
