I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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