Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
