Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
