She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
