I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
