I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
