Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
