Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
