Buhtt sex?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
