u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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