i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
