i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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