u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
