covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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