she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
