Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
