Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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