how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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