There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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