Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
