I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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