If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You need a sexual gate keeper
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
