I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
