tell your sister to shave her snatch
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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