I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
