Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
