I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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