So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
