We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
