We're facebook friends in real life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
