i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
