doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
