im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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