I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
