oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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