is your mom at the bar?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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