To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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